Yes, real Americans need a more effective dietary aid than the Food Guide Pyramid. Here's my idea: We should use farmers. Lord knows we pay them enough. In the past five years, the Department of Agriculture paid 92 BILLION TAXPAYER-SUPPLIED DOLLARS in subsidies to farmers, including such hardscrabble sons of the soil as (I am not making this up) Scottie Pippen, who makes $18 million a year playing basketball, and who got $131,575 in farm subsidies; and Ted Turner, who is worth more than $6 billion, and who got $176,077 in subsidies. So here's my proposal: Any farmer who (a) receives taxpayer money, and (b) is worth more than $1 million, should be required to spend 10 hours per week actively preventing taxpayers from eating so much. Picture the scene: You're in the convenience store. You grab a package of Hostess brand Ding Dongs. You're heading for the checkout counter, and . . . BAM, you're grabbed from behind by Ted Turner!Want the facts about those subsidies to millionaire farmers? See the large database posted online by the Environmental Working Group.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Speaking of blaming the Pyramid....
Since I mentioned Jeanne Goldberg exonerating the Food Guide Pyramid from making us fat, I can't help giving space to Dave Barry for the opposite view:
Posted 9:16 PM