Sunday, December 19, 2004

Speaking of blaming the Pyramid....

Since I mentioned Jeanne Goldberg exonerating the Food Guide Pyramid from making us fat, I can't help giving space to Dave Barry for the opposite view:
Yes, real Americans need a more effective dietary aid than the Food Guide Pyramid. Here's my idea: We should use farmers. Lord knows we pay them enough. In the past five years, the Department of Agriculture paid 92 BILLION TAXPAYER-SUPPLIED DOLLARS in subsidies to farmers, including such hardscrabble sons of the soil as (I am not making this up) Scottie Pippen, who makes $18 million a year playing basketball, and who got $131,575 in farm subsidies; and Ted Turner, who is worth more than $6 billion, and who got $176,077 in subsidies. So here's my proposal: Any farmer who (a) receives taxpayer money, and (b) is worth more than $1 million, should be required to spend 10 hours per week actively preventing taxpayers from eating so much. Picture the scene: You're in the convenience store. You grab a package of Hostess brand Ding Dongs. You're heading for the checkout counter, and . . . BAM, you're grabbed from behind by Ted Turner!
Want the facts about those subsidies to millionaire farmers? See the large database posted online by the Environmental Working Group.

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